Is there life after divorce? Yes, there certainly is an exciting future ahead of you, so long as you are head-savvy as opposed to headstrong!
How do you move on after divorce? No matter who ends the relationship or when, the idea of going solo can look bleak and frightening. It is important to learn to adapt and to remember that there is light to every darkness, a high to every low, and a solution to every challenge.
In the midst of my own divorce, I didn’t believe anyone when they told me I would go on to have a happy and fulfilling life. That said, I always held on to my ‘rope of hope’ as I didn’t want to allow the feeling of despair to creep into my way of thinking. I didn’t want to lie down and give up. I told myself that this soon would pass, and I was determined to get through it.
Importantly, I had to let go of what was and move on to what is. After talking, allowing myself to grieve, releasing the anger and setting myself small goals, I started to plan ahead. I was determined that my divorce would not define me.
I started to change my mindset so that positive thinking became a habit, and I noticed changes in me, both physically and mentally. No longer feeling so afraid, I grew in confidence, and my self-esteem began to blossom. I was no longer a victim; I was a survivor.
Take control
Happiness is key to rebuilding your life. Weigh up the importance of money versus health. You can’t play tug of war with someone that doesn’t pick up the rope. In other words, choose to be happy rather than always trying to win in what is, for most, the war of divorce. Learn to let it go.
Rather than staying stuck, commit to becoming independent and resourceful. Take control of your life by being confident and self-reliant.
When you feel ready and the time is right, look to increase your earnings either by increasing your hours at work, changing your job, and/or obtaining an additional qualification. There are so many online courses and opportunities for further professional development. What are your skills? Where do your talents lie?
Your future is bright and exciting, so long as you focus on the road ahead and stop looking back in the rear-view mirror!
WORDS Paula Crowhurst – Polly Bloom Divorce & Separation Coach
